Post by CTGull on Aug 30, 2017 14:22:59 GMT -5
Found this. I'm sure I could add more if I had time.
* Solid Spruce means Solid Spruce --- but check for grain anyway.
* Spruce means laminated.
* Select Spruce means laminated.
* Handcrafted from the finest Spruce means laminated.
* Gold encrusted abalone inlays on a fine Spruce top means laminated.
* Superb rosewood and spruce construction means the whole thing is laminated.
* Ivoroid means plastic.
* Superior Tone means it makes noise.
* A superb versatile dreadnaught means you can use it for both country AND western music.
* Made from select tone woods means they selected the next bit of wood on the stack.
* Made from hand chosen timbers means the robot was broken, so Fred actually grabbed the timber off the top of the stack himself.
* Amazing projection means the drummer and the banjo player will still drown you if they want.
* Built to exacting standards means built.
* Built to the highest standards means built.
* Built by a select team of luthiers means built.
* Among the finest guitars we make means the others are even worse.
* The highest quality appointments means they ran out of the really cheap machine heads so they used the mediocre ones.
* AAA sitka top means the wood came from the pile on the left.
* Painstakingly set up for optimum performance means it has strings on it.
* “Designed in association with…” means we sent them some cash and they let us use their name in the ads.
* “Built to the personal specifications of…” means we sent them more cash and they agreed to be photographed holding it.
* “Personally designed, endorsed and played by…” means we paid them a lot and they've been seen in public with it at least once.
* Solid Spruce means Solid Spruce --- but check for grain anyway.
* Spruce means laminated.
* Select Spruce means laminated.
* Handcrafted from the finest Spruce means laminated.
* Gold encrusted abalone inlays on a fine Spruce top means laminated.
* Superb rosewood and spruce construction means the whole thing is laminated.
* Ivoroid means plastic.
* Superior Tone means it makes noise.
* A superb versatile dreadnaught means you can use it for both country AND western music.
* Made from select tone woods means they selected the next bit of wood on the stack.
* Made from hand chosen timbers means the robot was broken, so Fred actually grabbed the timber off the top of the stack himself.
* Amazing projection means the drummer and the banjo player will still drown you if they want.
* Built to exacting standards means built.
* Built to the highest standards means built.
* Built by a select team of luthiers means built.
* Among the finest guitars we make means the others are even worse.
* The highest quality appointments means they ran out of the really cheap machine heads so they used the mediocre ones.
* AAA sitka top means the wood came from the pile on the left.
* Painstakingly set up for optimum performance means it has strings on it.
* “Designed in association with…” means we sent them some cash and they let us use their name in the ads.
* “Built to the personal specifications of…” means we sent them more cash and they agreed to be photographed holding it.
* “Personally designed, endorsed and played by…” means we paid them a lot and they've been seen in public with it at least once.
