Epiphone competition win a guitar.

I don't buy lottery tickets.
When the Big 649 lottery first came out in Canada, a CBC science show called Quirks & Quarks had a statistician as a guest. He said that statistically, the odds of he and his wife both dying before the draw were greater than his chance of winning.
I have been given Scratch & Loose tickets in birthday cards and when the staff at work decided to share some 649 tickets, I paid my share.  I was afraid that if they did happen to win, I would have to train a whole new staff.

The last time I won something:
A decade or so ago, my son was in Sarah Harmer's Songs For Clem Band and when Maggie and I went to a Kingston gig, the person at the door said, "Hey, aren't you Darcy's parents?  Go on in and I'll fill out the door prize tickets for you."
There were two drawings for 10 assorted CDs each, donated by a local record store.  During the first break, they drew the ticket and the winner was announced as, "Darcy's Parents".  During the second break, the winner was announced as, "Darcy's parents".  Unfortunately the CDs were of very little interest to us.
We had a gig playing Irish trad music the next week, so I took the CDs and said, "The first person to tell me if this is a jig, a reel or a hornpipe gets a pile of our CDs.  The person who won said, "Hey, these aren't your CDs!"

I said, "They were, but they're yours now."

A quote from Todd Snider:
64 percent of all the world's statistics are made up right there on the spot
82.4 percent of people believe 'em whether they're accurate statistics or not
I don't know what you believe but I do know there's no doubt
I need another double shot of something 90 proof
I got too much to think about.