Post by Garland on Jun 21, 2021 15:17:02 GMT -5
Never heard of it- found this on AGF
TA DAAA!!!
Thanks for the introduction.
"Moon Spruce" otherwise known as "Markitus gimmicus", is a VERY RARE wood that is harvested just ONCE A YEAR at midnight during a FULL MOON on the SPRING EQUINOX.
The tradition goes back to the days of the early pagan vikings, when they noticed that certain wood they used to burn virgins at the funeral pyre of their cheiftans made them scream in a very melodic way.
The tradition carry downs to today...albeit without the burning...where the trees are harvested at midnight surrounded by a chorus of scantily clad virgins () and drunken loggers singing rowdy viking pillaging songs.
The felled tree is then massaged with aromatic oils by said virgins which is said to increase it's girth () (BTW, this is where a certain term was coined re; "woody" ) and carried on the back of a team of Clydesdales to the local certified "Moon Spruce" mill, where it is rendered by hand to the appropriate sized blanks.
From there, it is sent on a 5 year around the world cruise aboard a reproduction of an authentic Viking ship for "seasoning", and shipped to it's end destination!!
(In reality, "Moon Spruce" (ie "Alpine Spruce") is the same species as "European Spruce" aka "Italian Spruce" aka "German Spruce" aka "Bosnian Spruce" aka...pick your European country. A link to a site disusing the issue;
www.lutherie.net/eurospruce.html)
Thanks for the introduction.
"Moon Spruce" otherwise known as "Markitus gimmicus", is a VERY RARE wood that is harvested just ONCE A YEAR at midnight during a FULL MOON on the SPRING EQUINOX.
The tradition goes back to the days of the early pagan vikings, when they noticed that certain wood they used to burn virgins at the funeral pyre of their cheiftans made them scream in a very melodic way.
The tradition carry downs to today...albeit without the burning...where the trees are harvested at midnight surrounded by a chorus of scantily clad virgins () and drunken loggers singing rowdy viking pillaging songs.
The felled tree is then massaged with aromatic oils by said virgins which is said to increase it's girth () (BTW, this is where a certain term was coined re; "woody" ) and carried on the back of a team of Clydesdales to the local certified "Moon Spruce" mill, where it is rendered by hand to the appropriate sized blanks.
From there, it is sent on a 5 year around the world cruise aboard a reproduction of an authentic Viking ship for "seasoning", and shipped to it's end destination!!
(In reality, "Moon Spruce" (ie "Alpine Spruce") is the same species as "European Spruce" aka "Italian Spruce" aka "German Spruce" aka "Bosnian Spruce" aka...pick your European country. A link to a site disusing the issue;
www.lutherie.net/eurospruce.html)
